by Mallika Iyer
In April, I attended the Nalanda Institute retreat, From Fire to Light: Completion Stage Yogas for Transforming Trauma, at Tibet House featuring Dr. Nida Chenagstang, a Tibetan healer and teacher of Buddhist Tantric practice. Dr. Nida is a world-renowned teacher who at this event, was addressing a hall full of people. Yet by some power, I felt he was speaking to me personally, like he was an old and treasured friend. He has the ability to connect and to care on that deep of a level. His conversation with Dr. Joe Loizzo and with us was overflowing with wisdom that I hurriedly tried to capture in my notebook, but one particular sentence struck so acutely that I couldn’t even write: “I know I’m Buddha and the rest falls into place.”
This one sentence aligned with a quote from my childhood hero, comedienne Lucille Ball (but more on that later) and it made me reframe my past, present and future. My entire life, I have always been consumed by the question, “What do I have to do next?” What do I have to do next in order to be approved, successful, impressive, confident and happy? I think part of this unrelenting climb towards a mythical Shangri-La of permanent contentedness was rooted in my growing up in competitive academic and social environments where it felt like everybody was trying to outdo one another – whether to get into college or attract somebody desirable. As a result, I lived in a perpetual state of never having arrived. I was so enmeshed in that mindframe, that regardless of what milestone I achieved, I never allowed myself peace from the question, “What do I have to do next?” And I never detached from the superficial outcomes associated with this question, instead, somewhat paradoxically, clinging to the person, opportunity, or prize more and more obsessively if it became farther out of reach.
Dr. Nida didn’t flip my ingrained question by saying not to do anything; of course, we must persist through the personal ups and downs, and global ups and downs, that life and the universe present. We must take action to advance. But he introduced the possibility that we don’t have to act from a position of inadequacy or competition. Rather, we can believe in our inherent greatness – our inherent Buddha – and make that the means rather than the end. What if I ceased my desperate pursuit of feeling worthy and simply knew that I am? My life would feel less like a never-ending battle or narcissistic competition and more like a naturally unfolding path that is exciting, caring, and giving – towards myself and towards others. How easier and clearer everything would become if I decided, “I have arrived! I am awesome! What do I want to do now?” Bestowing myself with care, wisdom and peace from the get-go allows my actions to be meaningful and positive, and this is a much friendlier journey than the impossible climb of my past. If I decide to see things like Buddha, I will see how things work out; how things work with me and not against me.
Now for Lucille Ball – whose comedy is still funny no matter how many times I watch the show. She said “Love yourself and everything else will fall into place. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” I wouldn’t have expected to learn the same lesson from the queen of comedy serving up side-splitting slapstick scenes as I did from a collected, learned and revered Buddhist teacher, but retrospectively, of course I did – the Buddha takes innumerable forms. The Buddha is waiting in everybody. Anybody in any field from any culture and walk of life has the power to act on wisdom and compassion and illuminate the path for others – Dr. Nida, Lucille Ball and me! When I finally decide I am Buddha and the enviable peace of the Buddha is not dependent on the next thing, the next thing, and the thing after that, the inevitable “downs” of the ups and downs do not derail me because I already know who I am and what I can do. And I can do it even better! This is the healing that has been shared with me, that I am inspired to share with others still waiting and climbing.
Editor’s Note:
Mallika Iyer is a special educator, writer and recovery advocate in Boston. She is passionate about making learning and healing accessible for youth of all abilities and is currently a Contemplative Psychotherapy Program student.
Nalanda Institute’s Contemplative Psychotherapy Program is a three-year journey through the transformative arts of Mindfulness, Insight, and Care; Wise Compassion; and Embodied Wisdom. People enter the journey at any one of the years of study. A certificate is offered upon completion of each year of study.
Across 2025–2026 we will offer the Mindfulness, Insight, and Care year of study in English and Spanish/Portuguese, and the Embodied Wisdom year of study in English. Stay tuned for more information in our upcoming newsletters, or apply now with the below links:
Certificate Program in Embodied Wisdom
Certificate Program in Mindfulness, Insight and Care
Programa de Psicoterapia Contemplativa en español y portugués / Programa de Psicoterapia Contemplativa em português e espanhol